A schizophrenic life indeed!

I feel I have several identities.. But doesnt everybody else have it? ud ask. Ok, agreed I am a woman, a Mizo, a Christian, a research scholar, an Indian, and then the various identities of being a Taurean, a fairly fun loving person but someone who thinks alot... the list does goes on till infinity. So there u go - I do have many identites, more than even what I can handle at some point in time.

So then I have a thousand aquaintances, a hundered hi - bye friends and a handful of really close friends. I feel I may matter to a whole lot of people, irrespective of me being aware of it or not; but on my part, I can say, at the cost of sounding arrogant, that very few people matter to me.. It goes without saying that my family is very important to me.. Then comes the people I can really bond with... How many ppl can one actually bond with? And then, how many ppl can actually even bond with anyone??.. I know of some ppl who just do not have FRIENDS they can pour their heart out to, and friends who would know how to reciprocate even if they tried to.

So, these days, I'm bonding big time with ppl that happen to just about pass my way..
I go to a job interview. The CEO/MD gives me gyaan about her experiences and hands-on-advice about how she runs her company. Then I come to hostel and the sweeper who comes to sweep my room tells me about her two grand-children.. Later, the massage lady who came to give me my bi-annual massage tells me her sob story of her failed marriage, her alchoholic, wife beating husband and the six children she is feeding since her divorce with husband..

Then I try to chill with my friends, doing coffee with one, evening walk with another and plain meeting up somewhere with another.. The only characteristic different with each person is on the kind of problem. But it always ends up with something similar.ie, We always end up analysing our trivial and not-so-trivial problems. If one friend vents out her anger about her not-so-happening sex life, another will crib about boss back in office. Then another about fight with parents over boyfriend/marriage.

It goes without saying that I have several identities as stated earlier, but its all the more confusing when when ppl pour out to you and you take them to heart, identifying and empathising with those problems.. So I feel like I have a troubled marriage without having gotten married, a fluctuating sex life without having had as yet slept with anybody, stress regarding a job and cold shouldering with colleagues in office without even entering one... A schizophrenic life indeed!! :)

Procrastination

Seems like we are born to procrastinate and how! A conversation I had with a junior only reinforced this nagging feeling I had about research scholars not being able to complete work/ assignments on time. She told me that she wanted to pursue her Phd abroad so wanted to earn some money to save up for the application, fees , etc etc, so wanted to take up a job. Fine. Then she tells me she wants to write her NET exams a few months from now. Ok. Then she adds, she wants to finish her thesis within this year and a very good disseratation at that! Now I have a problem.

I've taken around a year and a half trying to write a mediocre thesis on a not-so-earth-shattering topic. I never took an extention for my coursework like these kids are taking this year. I dutifully completed my field trip at mizoram and got down to work as soon as I returned.. now the bottomline is, I'm still not able to finish this supposedly little thingie even after a year from then. So what exactly is the problem?

Its almost like a tradition running down from seniors to highly motivated juniors who inherit this legacy of being lax about eveything and then pass on the same trait to the next lot! The Guides or supervisors care no less. I actually need an appointment to have an appointment with my Guide who is this globetrotting ultra confident feminist.

Might sounds like I'm going on a bitching spree to common man but methinks I'm actually theorising! The Whys and Hows of procrastination. Interesting, aint it???